Quick question: did your grief training teach you what to do when someone genuinely can't identify what they're feeling?
Not "won't." Can't.
Most supporters are taught to sit patiently with silence, trusting the feelings will eventually become easier to describe.
But for many autistic people, that approach doesn’t help. They’re not searching for words they’ll eventually find. The words genuinely aren’t there.
This is alexithymia: when emotional experience exists, but the language to describe it doesn't. It's a spectrum - some people struggle a bit with naming what they're feeling, others can't access emotional language at all. And around half of autistic people experience it.
Without understanding this, even skilled supporters can completely miss what’s happening. They wait for feelings to be named, or they keep asking questions that require emotional language the person doesn’t have access to.
In this excerpt from one of the eleven role play videos in our course, The Neurodivergent Experience of Grief & Loss, watch what changes when a supporter recognises alexithymia and adapts their approach in real time.
You’ll see: • What alexithymia can look like in grief • The specific questions that work when “how do you feel?” doesn’t • How to validate someone’s individual experience of grief
Most grief training tells you what to do. This course shows you.
Not just theory. Real conversations you can learn from.
Grief Guides Ltd. Studio Suite L Market Hall, Market Place Chesterfield, S40 1AR.
Phone number: +44 7593 790399
Phone number: +44 7593 790399
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